Nothing

A: In anger*

B: Why? Anything?

A: Nothing...

Nothing is the start of everything. Things used to be fairy tales. I love you, you love me..we are happy family until....anger, insecurities, responsibility, commitment surfaced for the very first time.

Everytime this A with her wild thoughts, insecurities, she want to tell the whole world that is what A thought of but personal is personal. So A want to share her sadness, anger with A's beloved. Unknowingly, A was too afraid to speak out about her real thought to B. Worried of how B might response. B unexpectedly not very good in handling such things of a human called A.

A as usual with A's wild thoughts keep bombarding A's mind with "What If...statement". Thinking too much of consequences of A's words, A remained silent and repeating-ly mentioned "Nothing" to B in return. And in this scenario, of course B was rather confused what the hell A want to say and what is A thinking right now. B have a slight thought of asking what happened, mind sharing? but B's resolution is rather ignorant. B thought "Perhaps A just angry. I think I should let A be. A'll be fine later". And this go on for quite sometimes.

B had no idea what A is angry about. So what B do? Angry back? Sleep (don't know what B is thinking of this?) Ignore? B don't bother to ask A what's wrong. Tried once then give up. If once failed, try again, second time failed try again. Sincerity is very important. When A sees the way B handling the matter, how you expect A to think? That B is sad on behalf of A too? That B with "I don't wanna know. Keep sad make me beh syok only!" attitude. Is this the proper way of comforting? I don't see any sincerity in it.

What A is thinking right then? B do not understand me. B's attitude giving A's mental insecurities whether B can share my sadness, angry-ness with A. And so this go on for sometimes as well. Things does accumulate, may it be past anger, present anger or future anger.

Who is wrong in this case? I would say both A and B. A's reluctant and B's ignorance to start with. A is thinking too much of unnecessary things and B reluctance's to emerge himself in any of this issues.

How pathetic. The cause would be afraid, habit, lack of communication, not serious in communicating. A speculated everything the why and how. But B with his mighty sentence "I dunno" is rather annoying sometimes but could say less about A as well. A just been anxious.

Neither A nor B are right or wrong. It's the way of handling is a total wrong from the very beginning. A would try to improve communication from time to time with a hopeful total collaborative from B as well. B would you? A is always trying to face issues while B seems to avoid more often than facing. There is nothing to be scared to face things ahead. At least A and B would predict the worst of future before its going to happen. There is nothing to be scared off.

This entry is dedicated to B.

And please accept the fate that A is mostly different from B in terms of mental.

So till then.

Time written: 8:53PM on 10th June 2012